MAGIC WAND. Wilted…

 

Just had a call from the Lord of the Bright side,… he not very happy…..are you aware that you nearly started World War III?,.. he asked,…No,.I said,…I’m not,…why?..what happened?….Sit down,..he said,..let’s have a little chat…..Well, it wasn’t much of a chat,..more of a,….….he did the talking……Let’s start with the dogs,… Dogs! Dogs!!! I can tell you all about,..Dogs!!,….go on then, he said,……What happened was this,..I was walking home last night,…a bit disturbed, to tell the Truth, but more on that later,…anyway, I was right in the middle of the dark bit when a snarling beast detached itself from the shadows and leapt at me……Fortunately I had my umbrella with me because I thought it might rain,..equally fortunately it hadn’t and with my umbrella correctly rolled I was able to fend off the beast…hah! but he came straight back at me!…then another sprang from the gloom, then another, and another….I was desperately fighting for my life!… JAB! LUNGE! THRUST! PARRY! LUNGE!….LORD OF THE DARK SIDE!!.. YOU!!…You and your Demon Horror Beasts!!….but I was tiring…..fading…..even my Russell & Bromley………LORD OF THE BRIGHT SIDE!! I cried…….nothing,…..typical,…….then!,….a voice,….a female voice,..sweet as an Angel…..calling…….Time stood still, ..for a moment,..and so did the beasts…….”..Fangy! Rexy! Darky! Blacky! Here! Boys!! Come!!”….and The Demon Pack rushed off into the night…..then,….…the Lord of the Bright Side raised his palm,….your neighbours dogs,…………..eh?…..your neighbour was taking her dogs for a last walk,………oh?….really, I thought,……tell me all about what happened earlier…. Well,…it was like this……I’d woken up all Shiny,..ready for the first new day of the new year ,…and after finishing my chores had decided to go into the village to celebrate with my fellow man,…and woman……anyway,…as I walked I noticed there were no birds singing,..not a one!..Strange,….then I noticed further,..no dogs…all gone!! When I got into the centre,.. there I encountered my first fellow human,.. two of them…..but they were strange also,…aged and worn,…. I spoke to them,…but they merely stared through me with empty eyes….one grunted,…then they shuffled on,…further on I found more,…broken dead things,…moaning and shuffling aimlessly…..what had happened here!!..then!! round the corner!!..a scene of pure paganism…what devilry!..banshee things spinning and howling,..leaping and wailing,…applauded by the zombies that milled mindlessly in front….Yet the children remained children,…playing as before,…..what wizardry was this,…..then I turned and fled home,….that’s when I ran into the Demon Pack from Hell,…….neighbours dogs,..…..,..what happened then?…..well…when I got finally home and sat down, I was shattered,,..physically and mentally,….and it was then that I noticed the date on the screen,…..2041……2041!!..impossible!..but there it was in front of me,..2041,..it was supposed to be 2014!,…what had happened to 2014,..and the intervening 27 years?!…Oh, Lord of the Dark Side! What have you done?!…It was then that I decided to make some calls and alert the authorities,….but everyone was zombified…and it was useless…..now I was truly exhausted,…perhaps the wizardry was starting to work on me,…I sprinkled some salt around the door to ward off the spell and went to bed scared,…….Let me take it from here,…said the Lord of the Bright Side,……whilst you were sleeping,……wasn’t sleeping,….don’t interrupt,…whilst you were sleeping,….Your calls to the authorities were recorded by the skeletal sta……..there! You See! zombies!!…..staff, and later, acted upon…….we’re all nervous!!…shut up,……acted upon,…and of course all YOUR shit scared the shit out of the other sides shit,…….but the zombies?,….the children?, un-grown-up?,….. and the devils dancing?…I cried,…..Idiot!! you were at the local celebrations of Rancho-Folklore-Music …,,,but the zombies?…not zombies,..citizens tired after a long night’s partying,…..but the date,..it said,..2041!!…….yes, it did, because you put it there,…your typo,……oh no! lord of the Bright Side,…..I’m so sorry,……………I’m sooo sorry, Lord of the Bright Side,….I thought it was the Lord of the Dark Side ######## me,…..the only thing ####### you is you!…..and what’s this all over the floor,…… salt,…….you haven’t been abusing your wand again have you,..there’s that word again,…abusing,..and,..again!…no I said, it’s salt,..keep the demons away,….the only demons are in your head,….put it on your chips then,…….watch it!………and he was out the door……..A shadow sniggered,…..Lord of the Bright Side, I yelled,..but he had already gone…..Day#2, 2014?…….I preferred 2041……..

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